I had to laugh out loud when you went remote raiding for batteries. I'm sure weve all done that more than once.

Have you checked out any of the  ATMega328 based ESR component testers?
I gave this one a try 
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00OOQC2E8/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o02_s00?ie=UTF8&amp;psc=1
based on the price and reviews. I got the one with th IC in  socket cause I tend to trash things.
Nifty unit.
I know,,,,,do a show.?